If you ask parents what they want for their kids, many will say "I just want them to be happy." But there are drugs that achieve this, and taking them results in disaster. So that is probably not what we should want.
(Thanks to @moigottweets for pointing this out to me.)
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I get to ask parents this all the time as part of my work. Anecdotally, half of parents say happiness and the other half success. And what they all actually want, and often can’t articulate, is the reciprocal causal conjunction of both.
Yes, I think what parents really want is for their kids to achieve happiness by doing certain things, and by having certain things not happen to them. Few get specific about what, but I'm going to think more about this and see if I can...
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We discount the role that other emotions play in our lives. If we opt for emotional resilience over happiness, this world would be a better place, no?
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...And better longterm outcomes for our children. Be it physical health, relationships, success (however one chooses to define it). Just better capacity to cope with life, and navigate the choices it has to offer.
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I think “flourishing” is the term of art for what most parents want for their children, caused by a complicated mix of love and status concerns.
@arthurbrooks might be a good place to start.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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My oldest is only 3.5 but I'd say my goal is "content" and I mean it in it's best form. Happy and proud of themselves and what they've created personally, professionally, and socially.
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It depends what you mean by happiness.
@DavidDeutschOxf talked about the distinction between joy (creatively solving problems that are appropriately challenging) and pleasure (the feeling from drugs or candy) - Show replies
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Justified happiness
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Self-realization
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I want my children to be happy and healthy while productively and positively contributing to the lives of their family, community, and society as a whole.
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Parents do not define those happiness and success for their kids (at least I try not to). We want, whatever definition our kids define, to be realized.
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