• Home
  • About

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • Verified account @
Suggested users
  • Verified account @
  • Verified account @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookie Use and Data Transfer outside the EU. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
pattonoswalt's profile
Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt
Verified account
@pattonoswalt

Patton OswaltVerified account

@pattonoswalt

Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

Joined May 2010
  • © 2016 Twitter
  • About
  • Help
  • Terms
  • Privacy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • Verified account @
Suggested users
  • Verified account @
  • Verified account @

Retweet this to your followers?

Optional comment for Retweet
 
 

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • Verified account @
Suggested users
  • Verified account @
  • Verified account @
140

Are you sure you want to delete this Tweet?

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Add a location to your Tweets

    When you tweet with a location, Twitter stores that location. You can switch location on/off before each Tweet and always have the option to delete your location history. Learn more

    Profile summary

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    Preview

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Buy Now

    Hmm... Something went wrong. Please try again.

    Previous Tweet Next Tweet
    Patton Oswalt Verified account ‏@pattonoswalt Mar 24

    If you list your favorite sports teams in your Twitter bio, chances are you're not gonna like my jokes.

    • Retweets 208
    • Likes 1,680
    • Anastasia Wade Jennifer Phillips Angela Jennie Moore Mark Joseph Leathers nicole siegel Adam Gilbert brutishbergen John Knee Utah
    9:23 AM - 24 Mar 2016
    208 retweets 1,680 likes
    1. Wes Johnson ‏@WesJohnsonVoice Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt Not entirely true :)

      0 retweets 4 likes
    2. Alice Evans ‏@AliceEvansGruff Mar 24 Los Angeles, CA

      @pattonoswalt Damn! That's me out.

      0 retweets 1 like
    3. Starla Mint ‏@itsjuststarla Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt But I like sportz and I like your jokes.

      0 retweets 20 likes
    4. Reboot for Justice ‏@Just_Reboot Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt *unless they're all teams from movies

      1 retweet 3 likes
    5. Zack Stovall ‏@ZStovall Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt *Removes "PROUD SUPPORTER OF THE VIRGINIA STATE UNIVERSITY FIGHTIN' OSWALTS" logo from my avi* totally

      0 retweets 4 likes
    6. Casey Brazeal ‏@northandclark Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt a Nationals fan would say that.

      0 retweets 4 likes
    7. fleek tariq ‏@haircut_hippie Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt what if my favorite sports team is a joke?

      0 retweets 4 likes
    8. THE INFINITE REGRESS ‏@numerochair Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt what if they're a BIG FAN of both haaaa ha haaa.

      0 retweets 2 likes
    9. Brian Joyce ‏@DCUparagon Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt I think soccer fans might be exempt from this generalization

      0 retweets 3 likes
    10. Chris Frank ‏@Hoss_a_palooza Mar 25 St Peters, MO

      @pattonoswalt I must be the exception to the rule. Love your shows. You were amazing in St Louis a few months ago.

      0 retweets 1 like
    11. Mike Dorval ‏@mrmikedorval Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt What if one of them is Solarbabies?

      0 retweets 1 like
    12. lisa domican ‏@lisamareedom Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt loving The Goldbergs. Beverly is my favourite sitcom character EVER.

      0 retweets 1 like
    13. Melissa ‏@sagastaki Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt I call bullshit. I have my favorite sports team in my bio and I love your sense of humor!

      0 retweets 1 like
    14. Geoff LaTulippe ‏@DrGMLaTulippe Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt As a rabid sports fan (though with none listed in his bio) I am depressingly quick to agree with this statement.

      0 retweets 1 like
    15. Doug Smith ‏@_dougesmith_ Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt Favorite nascar drivers...

      0 retweets 1 like
    16. Taylor White ‏@whitet86 Mar 25

      @pattonoswalt no need to generalize, comedy is universal. Your comedy helps us escape our boring bullshit, just like sports.

      0 retweets 1 like
    17. 86 Met Fan ‏@Doinitknightly Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt I like your jokes a lot. I love sports and i have asense of humor.

      0 retweets 1 like
    18. Mark ‏@seattlebonefish Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt guess again...love the #Seahawks & yet I was sitting in the audience cracking up when u talked about the parking cop telling

      0 retweets 1 like
    19. Shaun Harris ‏@TheShaunHarris Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt I like those odds

      0 retweets 1 like
    20. Crow/Play4Blood ‏@Crow_13_ Mar 24

      @pattonoswalt @AthleticsRaider Don't do us like that, Ratatouille.

      0 retweets 1 like

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2016 Twitter
      • About
      • Help
      • Terms
      • Privacy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info