Skip to content
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • About

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English UK
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log In
    Have an account?
    · Forgotten your password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
pattonoswalt's profile
Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt
Verified account
@pattonoswalt

Tweets

Patton OswaltVerified account

@pattonoswalt

AP Bio on NBC Thursdays at 8:30pm/7:30c ANNIHILATION streaming now on Netflix. IG: pattonoswalt

Los Angeles
pattonoswalt.com
Joined May 2010

Tweets

  • © 2019 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Centre
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgotten your password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log In »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not doing it for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account you're not interested in anymore.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart – it lets the person who wrote it know that you appreciate them.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about right now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find out what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    Patton Oswalt‏Verified account @pattonoswalt Jan 3

    Patton Oswalt Retweeted CMINDEMAND

    Yes, the first thing that comes to mind when you hear “the Wild West” was the plurality of religious and philosophical books and documents. Yeeee-haw!https://twitter.com/cmindemand/status/1081011377404301312 …

    Patton Oswalt added,

    CMINDEMAND @cmindemand
    Replying to @pattonoswalt @AOC @kathleenhanna
    Man look US is literally the wild wild west now...More than a dozen documents and books -- including the US Constitution, Eastern Orthodox Bible and Quran -- were used to swear in officials of various ethnic and religious backgrounds. pic.twitter.com/T0atJ9sr9R
    6:20 pm - 3 Jan 2019
    • 366 Retweets
    • 4,743 Likes
    • Former Masshole Siri Solheim Colin Fesser Raswhitworth Marissa Fangmann Scott Leis Mia Leigh Scroggs Don't Poke the Momma Bear name still pending
    143 replies . 366 retweets 4,743 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. gg  🙊 🙈 🙉‏ @gina_goldberg Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        pic.twitter.com/7VMT0pDRJO

        2 replies . 1 retweet 65 likes
      3. el Travos Francis Music‏ @el_travos 16h16 hours ago
        Replying to @gina_goldberg @pattonoswalt

        Is this an outtake? 🤣 genuine question

        2 replies . 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Filled with bees  🇺🇸‏ @Madjh 16h16 hours ago
        Replying to @el_travos @gina_goldberg @pattonoswalt

        It wasn't an outtake but the last line was ad-libbed by Gene Wilder and Cleavon Little's reaction was real.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. gg  🙊 🙈 🙉‏ @gina_goldberg 15h15 hours ago
        Replying to @Madjh @el_travos @pattonoswalt

        cool beans 👍

        0 replies . 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Mark Russell‏ @Manruss Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        “Pardner, I don’ like how yer denigratin’ the spiritual means by which other people find connection to the cosmos. I reckon y’all need to be gone by sundown.”

        3 replies . 0 retweets 44 likes
      3. Harry Coffill‏ @HCoffill Jan 3
        Replying to @Manruss

        pic.twitter.com/Cdrs8oz1MS

        0 replies . 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jen Greeneyes‏ @greeneyes_jen Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        pic.twitter.com/POJsgr6ka6

        0 replies . 3 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bobby especially after his mind exploded‏ @BobbyMiller3 Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        It's like that shootout at the O.K. Coexist

        0 replies . 0 retweets 35 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Cathy‏ @CathyReally Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        The rootinest, tootinest, diversenest Congress east, west, north, and south of the Pecos!pic.twitter.com/g0FHXJU9IW

        1 reply . 0 retweets 37 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Tomri Razed with Boars‏ @Gnu_On_W Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        It’s like this country was founded on some kind of basis with freedom of religion. Weird how that can translate to choose to elect people with diverse backgrounds.

        0 replies . 0 retweets 24 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. David Joseph Wesley‏ @DJWfilmmusic Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        Annie, get your Necronomicon.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 20 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Jonas King‏ @jonas_king Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        pic.twitter.com/wOHoKmiGmG

        1 reply . 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Michael Thomas‏ @michaelTwrites Jan 3
        Replying to @jonas_king @pattonoswalt

        This never happened.

        1 reply . 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Jonas King‏ @jonas_king Jan 3
        Replying to @michaelTwrites @pattonoswalt

        How dare you! It happened ounce upon a time in the West!pic.twitter.com/J2SMh2ZBdN

        1 reply . 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Michael Thomas‏ @michaelTwrites Jan 3
        Replying to @jonas_king @pattonoswalt

        My god, the spirit fingers. *dramatically takes glasses off*

        0 replies . 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. T McKinley‏ @RevTMcK Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        Some Christians want us to swear oaths on what they find sacred, as opposed to swearing oaths on what we find sacred because Christians care more about the appearance of sanctity than they do the real thing.

        0 replies . 1 retweet 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ms. Jen‏ @Liberaltini Jan 3
        Replying to @pattonoswalt

        The best part of today is all the Republican heads exploding over all the newly sworn in female legislators.

        0 replies . 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2019 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Centre
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info