Patton OswaltVerified account

@pattonoswalt

Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

Los Angeles
pattonoswalt.com
Joined May 2010
525 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    May 31

    "There's no ever-after/There's only in-between." Juliana Hatfield, "Hotels" See you guys in September. Hold tight.

    249 retweets 6,995 likes
  2. 19 hours ago

    Once again, nails it. This is great! ---> You Gotta Fight for Your Right to F%@k Up via

    103 retweets 268 likes
  3. Jul 1

    No Alice. It does not!

    0:08
    Alice is so excited that LOST IN AMERICA is on !!!
    79 retweets 1,049 likes
  4. Jul 1

    Alice is so excited that LOST IN AMERICA is on !!!

    235 retweets 3,669 likes
  5. May 29

    SUNDAY GRATITUDE LIST: I know what day it is

    43 retweets 392 likes
  6. May 30

    You've NEVER seen it? I'm so jealous. You get to watch it for the 1st time. destroys all.

    Thanks to your early morning praise I decided to order Season 1. No pressure!
    23 retweets 540 likes
  7. May 30

    I would watch a spinoff of just 's character trying (and failing) to use various Groupons.

    294 retweets 2,350 likes
  8. May 29

    : Jonah Ryan's TV ads hit the web — watch

    83 retweets 285 likes
  9. May 30

    Oh wow. THANK YOU. Down the wormhole I go...

    . HBO made a website for Jonah's campaign (2nd ad and more)! 👍🏻👍🏻
    32 retweets 226 likes
  10. May 29

    I've now watched it 15 times. Not exaggerating. Frame by frame. It is perfect, self-satisfied shittiness.

    . look closely look very closely and there are jokes upon jokes upon jokes
    18 retweets 189 likes
  11. May 29

    "You Pepperidge Farm ad mothefuckers!" Watching rage is scarily gorgeous. Thank you, .

    30 retweets 415 likes
  12. May 29

    Jonah's campaign ad was so hilariously awful they ran it IN FULL after tonight's . Like THEY couldn't believe how great it was.

    46 retweets 685 likes
  13. May 29

    Jonah Ryan's campaign ad on tonight's . Holy. Shit. The chasing the child shot. Oh my God. I love you .

    62 retweets 593 likes
  14. May 29

    This is the signal, right? I'm supposed to take out the perimeter guards? Please acknowledge.

    Saggy old man balls
    70 retweets 709 likes
  15. May 29

    "Your lettuce crop is so late the restaurants you provide to serve salad for dessert!"

    91 retweets 1,040 likes
  16. May 29

    "Don't BernieBroBlockBot Me, Baby..." -- Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds

    34 retweets 484 likes
  17. May 29

    Voltron!

    By receiving the Eucharist we are nourished of the Body and Blood of Jesus, and by entering us, Jesus joins us to his Body!
    322 retweets 1,532 likes
  18. May 29

    When in NYC, visit Jerry Lewis' Bagel Maven Deli, a flavor haven when you're craving the savor and the onions so nice and the hoi ding.

    90 retweets 1,042 likes
  19. May 28

    ... fucking thank you Patton because an hour ago I never felt like I'd ever laugh again. Laughing now. 👍❤️

    15 retweets 527 likes
  20. May 28

    " I began to gently shit my pants" today was a really awful mental health day but finally watching your new special and...

    10 retweets 405 likes

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