Patton OswaltVerified account

@pattonoswalt

Mr. Oswalt is a former wedding deejay from Northern Virginia.

Los Angeles
Joined May 2010

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  1. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    here's her celebrating rape becoming a pre-existing condition, next question

  2. Can't wait to hear your San Gennaro chunk.

  3. Hard to get these 3 entities to agree on ANYTHING. did it. Way to go, Donny Pumpkin.

  4. Retweeted
    May 4

    The Republicans have no idea they just killed John Wick's dog.

  5. That tone is what the British call "chocolatey." I want him to read M.R. James stories. Or The Book of the New Sun.

  6. PLEASE let my voice age like 's. That is the cask-aged Islay single malt of voices. Wow.

  7. Uh, maybe don't listen to the lyrics, guys.

  8. Retweeted
    May 4

    Trump couldn't host the teachers of the year at the Rose Garden last month, but vote to take health care away from 24M and you're in!

  9. Retweeted

    I wonder why erectile dysfunction isn't considered a preexisting condition.

  10. Retweeted
    19 hours ago
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  11. not . not . From now on you call it not . Staple it to his stupid fucking forehead forever.

  12. Retweeted
    24 hours ago

    What if I told you... I photoshopped the same face onto every man behind Trump. Would you have noticed if I hadn't said anything?

  13. Retweeted
    May 4

    NBC reporter just asked a bunch of Republican Congressmen if they've READ the health care bill. Hilarity ensues.

  14. Retweeted
    21 hours ago
  15. Retweeted
    22 hours ago
  16. Retweeted
    23 hours ago

    The just voted to strip health care away from millions. We can whimper, we can whine – or we can fight back.

    Senator Warren in the Fight Against Trumpcare
  17. Retweeted
    May 4

    Look at Ryan's face here, every journalist or pundit that ever tried to build him up as reasonable, sensible, cool dad should be set on fire

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