I used to wonder whether recognition from others is relative (such that we can only reallocate it) or absolute (we can make more!). Am now convinced it’s the latter, and that there’s a broad-based deficit in the world — a kind of Vitamin D deficiency for validation.
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It is a deep and interesting question why this sub-optimal allocation of (cheap?) praise persists...
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Yes, and what systemic remedies would look like.
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I have a personal goal to tell at least 2 people something specific they do that has an impact on my, and explaining the impact. It makes my life better as I am more mindful of people’s ~unique strengths, too!
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Every week I drop a note of thanks to someone (and their manager!) who helped me be more productive that week.
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The book about Adlerian psychology “Courage to Be Disliked” had a worthwhile discussion on gratitude vs praise. “Thank you for your work” (implicit it is valuable to me/others) vs “your work is good” (I judge your work and approve).
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Very well put. I used to artificially throttle the amount of praise and recognition I would give others because it seemed that reducing my output makes my own opinion seem more valuable through scarcity. In hindsight, objectively good work is good, and we should say so!
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I prefer in writing. That way even when I’m full of self-doubt, I can come back to it.
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Bingo, Bethany! Checkout givenod[dot]com. Inspired by the work
@goalspriing.
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