I used to wonder whether recognition from others is relative (such that we can only reallocate it) or absolute (we can make more!). Am now convinced it’s the latter, and that there’s a broad-based deficit in the world — a kind of Vitamin D deficiency for validation.
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It is a deep and interesting question why this sub-optimal allocation of (cheap?) praise persists...
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Yes, and what systemic remedies would look like.
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100%, lately I’ve been trying to be more deliberate in telling people that I admire them or love their work. I think there are two big obstacles: 1. Ego and the feeling you’re ~bowing before someone 2. The fear that you might appear as “sucking up” to someone important
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Add 3. I discount anyone's compliments when I notice they compliment a lot. "They're just a nice person, I'm not actually as great as they say"
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I have a personal goal to tell at least 2 people something specific they do that has an impact on my, and explaining the impact. It makes my life better as I am more mindful of people’s ~unique strengths, too!
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Every week I drop a note of thanks to someone (and their manager!) who helped me be more productive that week.
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This reminded me. Just used
@atlas recently. The experience has been amazing so far. It's good, and important in empowering the rise of more startups and small businesses. Outstanding job. - 1 more reply
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Patrick, yes! My version of this principle: never miss an opportunity to give a *deserved* compliment.
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Very well put. I used to artificially throttle the amount of praise and recognition I would give others because it seemed that reducing my output makes my own opinion seem more valuable through scarcity. In hindsight, objectively good work is good, and we should say so!
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The book about Adlerian psychology “Courage to Be Disliked” had a worthwhile discussion on gratitude vs praise. “Thank you for your work” (implicit it is valuable to me/others) vs “your work is good” (I judge your work and approve).
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I prefer in writing. That way even when I’m full of self-doubt, I can come back to it.
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Bingo, Bethany! Checkout givenod[dot]com. Inspired by the work
@goalspriing.
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Your work is very good. Particularly the paper quality in Tyler’s book. It might be too good because I feel bad dog-earing the pages.
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@patrickc I think your work is important and good.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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You are doing a great job. Keep going.
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