TL;DR: if you think someone’s work is good, and important, tell them! It really can make a surprisingly large difference and it took me quite a while to appreciate extent.
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I’ve reached your conclusion as well (after struggling with it early in my career). However, certain individuals/group cultures may perceive lower value with increased recognition making the dynamic a bit more complicated.
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I had a Russian friend that used to say: “if you do what you’re supposed to do, you don’t need a compliment. It’s your job” (this was while we managed a group of software devs, at the end of each sprint, I wanted to have a little celebration). I completely get your point
@vjsubr.
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It’s because we fixate on negative anomalies rather than amplify the good in the world.
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Have you read
@wiredferret's take on this?http://www.heidiwaterhouse.com/2018/07/04/praise-is-a-vitamin/ …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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What we noticed working on this subject for a while, is that giving recognition is more like a muscle. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.
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I think this is the main reason why many people blow staggering amounts on their weddings. They feel like it's the one and only chance they'll have in their entire lives to be the star for a whole day.
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Totally agree with the point, but as the husband of a professor of dermatology, I cringe at the analogy: the vitamin D deficiency story is greatly overblown. But yeah, love your main point :)
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Recognition increases a subject's legibility of their own status Status is relative, but legibility is not More legible a person's status is to herself, the more it can affect future behavior Thus, recognition / encouragement can create positive-sum behavioral differences
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Recognition, gratitude, love. You can tell every person in your life how much they mean to you every time you see them. It feels weird at first having been socialized in Europe, but it feels good I promise
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I am constantly shocked at how few people tell someone when they’re exceptional, and at how infrequently exceptional people hear how good they are
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Agreed on the general point - but I wouldn’t say deficiency - more like misplaced; there’s too much celebration of mediocrity or the wrong behaviors (that happen to please a minority in “power”). Praise, encouragement and power to those who deserve it!
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It tends to absolute with respect to people within tribes and relative as a whole. Outsiders don’t get as much of it. Social capital I guess. Adam Grant talks about it ‘Originals’.
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Twitter’s datum point in particular is zeroed at criticism, not constructive, but just painted everywhere one goes like a pheromone trail, or pissing. Everyone feels it is their duty to criticise and incorrectly think that offers value somehow.
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So positive vs zero sum?
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To externalize the validation of your work/life/emotional state is to accept being a victim to a world that owes you nothing. The only sustainable validation/love is that which you hold for yourself. Everything else is gravy baby.
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Hey Patrick! Do you want to be an executive coach? Torch is hiring haha!
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empower others and fix that deficiency
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