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patio11's profile
Patrick McKenzie
Patrick McKenzie
Patrick McKenzie
@patio11

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Patrick McKenzie

@patio11

I work for the Internet, at @stripe, mostly on accelerating startups. Opinions here are my own.

東京都 Tokyo
kalzumeus.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 23 May 2018
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      Wife to bank officer: “My husband thinks he left his headphones here yesterday.” “Let me get the guard.” “At what time?” “9:05 AM.” “Well I couldn’t possibly comment on the affairs of another bank customer but I have a quite clear recollection of 9:07 AM...”

      2 replies 2 retweets 48 likes
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    2. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 23 May 2018
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      “There has been a taller foreign gentleman, going about his business but in indecent haste, and I called out to him to remind him that haste makes waste, but perhaps he did not hear me. Then a private bank matter which I could not possibly discussed required me to visit...”

      2 replies 0 retweets 33 likes
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      Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 23 May 2018
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      “... the local police department on a matter of some urgency. I regret that I could not be of more assistance, but perhaps you could enquirer at; let’s see who takes lost item reports, ah perhaps the local police department. Do you know where it is?” “Yes.” “Splendid.”

      6:10 PM - 23 May 2018
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      • Chris Peterson Matt Secoske Michael Griffiths let’s not talk about it Tony “0-Chill ” Ropson Amanda Chad Etzel MBL Bruce
      7 replies 0 retweets 52 likes
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        2. Adam Williams‏ @AdamWilliams_10 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          😂 enjoyable. RIP headphones.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @AdamWilliams_10

          10:1 odds I get them back by EOD but the police office will make me feel bad for asking them to do it.

          2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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        2. James Brock‏ @jamesdbrock 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          I envy your Japanese language ability to pick up on these amusing instances of snide and condescending keigo.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @jamesdbrock

          That’s neither snide nor condescending! (A genre which can exist, certainly, but high-speed “I know the rules and you know the rules and neither of us would *ever* break the rules” is a mark of mutual respect!)

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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        1. Clint Ehrlich‏ @ClintEhrlich 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          That was the precise moment @patio11's wife realized she was living in a David Mamet play.

          0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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        2. Kevin Ko‏ @kokev 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          Once left my phone at a bar in Roppongi, which was of course given to a police station in Azabu, who then, of course, transferred it back to a station in Roppongi. Despite describing my phone to a very specific T, they only handed my phone over after I unlocked my phone 😋

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Kevin Ko‏ @kokev 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @kokev @patio11

          So after going through the usual "Apologies for the trouble, I somehow happened to get drunk last night", I went home and realized I lost my ID. Turns out I dropped it a block from the same police station and had to go back to the station to get it. Many laughs were had.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Crowe: Love and Thunder‏ @doctorcrowe 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          This is heinously Gogolian.

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        1. James Brock‏ @jamesdbrock 23 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          Haha I have shed valuable property all over the streets and trains of Japan and have reaquired every single item, usually within 48 hours.

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        1. Michael Hackner‏ @lifehackner 24 May 2018
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          Replying to @patio11

          For those of us not versed in Japanese etiquette, why the obtuseness? Would saying “yes, we did find some headphones and turned them in to the police, so sorry for the inconvenience” somehow have been rude?

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