Bank officer: “Oh wait you can speak Japanese?!?” “... I suppose no one told you that.” “No! I spent the whole night cramming on English mortgage vocabulary! Thank goodness, now I don’t need it!” “What a relief!” “Seriously! Why would anyone name a mortgage after a body part?!”
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“... you will owe us a particular sum of money.” Nobody outdoes Japanese loan officers at “technically correct is the best form of correct.”
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Because every bank wants to do cross-sales they then brought in an asset management professional: “Have you considered getting a wrapped fund? A wrapped fund is...” “A vehicle which interacts extremely poorly with American taxpayers, I am afraid, due to the necessity of filing
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a declaration regarding a Passive Foreign Investment Corporation to the Us tax authorities every year, which requires enough accounting hours such that the low expense ratio benefit is totally swamped.” “Wow.” “Weird hobbies.”
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There are occasionally some moments where I almost sound like I know what I’m doing... and because life is hilarious they also happen the same day as I have to redo a sheet of paper for spelling my own name wrong, in English. (“What?” Insufficiently attentive on page 23.)
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Well *technically* the problem was that I spelled my name right in one of the boxes where it should be spelled wrong as opposed to one of the boxes where it should be spelled right, because Compliance.
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End of conversation
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Wow! Congrats!! How long have you been living in Japan that they already are willing to give your mortgage?
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About 15 years but it appears to be much easier to pass an underwriting process now (as a foreigner who is socially established) than it was for most of the last 50 years. Have heard some really surprising anecdotes from friends.
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Congrats on buying a house! My wife and I just bought our first. What a process, and I'm sure much harder in Japan than the US!
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If you don't mind sharing, what will your monthly payment be (+/- $100)?
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