Life has its ups and downs. The most challenging downs, by far, for me were the ones where I felt like I was missing my mark as a husband and father.
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Unfortunately, due to the way stress functions ("Metacognition? Stuff that, THERE'S A BEAR TRYING TO EAT YOU. RUN FROM THE BEAR. RUN!"), I didn't have an accurate mental model for the downs that were, factually, most challenging for my family.
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A lot of the writing about startups presupposes that they happen at a life-stage where one has few other commitments and high-quality fallback options available, which does not describe the reality of a lot of my founder friends' lives.
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"Eat better. Exercise more. Sleep regularly." are three pieces of advice I ignored for forever, tried out, experienced great results with, and (candidly) still have trouble getting into production on a regular basis. Still, try them, particularly if you haven't yet.
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The longer I do this the more convinced I am that virtually everything is a socially contagious disease. You want to pick your peer group very, very carefully; their faults will become your faults. If you surround yourself with entrepreneurs who are crying on the inside...
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Sherry makes a strong case for keeping up relationships with non-entrepreneurs, as a grounding mechanism. With the exception of family, I haven't found that to be a hugely useful practice. The inferential gap is really, really large.
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I also find that, at least in the place and class I grew up in, the type of challenges entrepreneurship threw at me did not generate the stresses I was "supposed" to have. There's a script for "I hate my job." My pre-entrepreneurship friends know how to support that.
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There is no script in my pre-entrepreneurial peer groups for "I love my job, and am really good at my job, and _also_ I have been unable to sleep at anything like a normal hour for the last two weeks due to job-related stress."
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This is one reason I love the Internet, for connecting birds-of-a-feather, and for folks like the
@MicroConf crowd, because that's the place in the world where I most keenly feel You Have My Values And I Have Your Problems So Let's Be Friends.2 replies 1 retweet 14 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @patio11 @MicroConf
Have you found any other groups/conferences like
@MicroConf that attract similarly-feathered folks?1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
My other three favorites are BaconBiz (very similar crowd to MicroConf), Business of Software (attendee profile skews towards 10+ member teams versus family-run firms), and DCBKK (had many more birds-of-my-feather than I expected; want to go back sometime).
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Replying to @patio11 @MicroConf
Sometime would be interested to hear your take on staying connected with peers from a distance. There are quite a few entrepreneurs who live far from nerve centers like silicon valley.
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