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patio11's profile
Patrick McKenzie
Patrick McKenzie
Patrick McKenzie
@patio11

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Patrick McKenzie

@patio11

I work for the Internet, at @stripe, mostly on accelerating startups. Opinions here are my own.

東京都 Tokyo
kalzumeus.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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      I would tweet a photo of avocado toast to celebrate, except that Tokyo proves the rule that millennials are only allowed to live in cities with exactly one of avocado toast or affordable housing.

      9 replies 14 retweets 130 likes
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    2. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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      I tried that joke out on my broker. “Avocado toast?” “Sort of a foreigner thing.” “I see. If you want to eat it after closing, we can procure avocado toast. We’ll be here for a while and I’m sure someone at the company can find it.” “No that’s fine.” “We’d pay.” “It’s OK.”

      2 replies 5 retweets 50 likes
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      Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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      A real estate closing in Japan requires a licensed broker to read the entire statement of important matters and contract to the buyer. Our recital was on the short end: 100 minutes.

      7:14 PM - 10 Mar 2018
      • 3 Retweets
      • 38 Likes
      • aa-name Guilherme de Maio Dice Lisa Winter 🦋 Mike D. John Lee Michael Huynh Nathan Broadbent Adam Lindell
      4 replies 3 retweets 38 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          This is one of those things that strikes me as wasteful, because I’m unlikely to have a serious objection in the moment due to becoming subject to the Meguro City Preservation Of Aesthetic Qualities Law, but part of me appreciates the ritual of transparency.

          3 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
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        3. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          For example: there’s a tiny private road on one end of the property, which is on land which is not part of the property. It passes one parcel which is 30cm on one side and 10m on the other. This parcel has 14 owners. I was read their names, because I’m now obliged to them.

          2 replies 0 retweets 21 likes
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        4. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          I think that technically speaking I will own two square centimeters of a similar parcel after the final execution, which means that generations of real estate agents will have a bit of awkwardness in future recitals. Sorry guys; I asked them to use katakana, I really did.

          3 replies 1 retweet 46 likes
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        5. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          There was a brief, heated discussion between the broker selling me the apartment and That Guy in the hallway, immediately after contract execution. You know That Guy. Every company has a That Guy.

          1 reply 2 retweets 19 likes
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        6. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          That Guy: “I noticed that the person in Conference Room 2 came by himself.” “I need to warn you that we are in earshot of Conference Room 2. Is this an appropriate conversation to have now?” “Well do you think he can legally consent to a contract he can’t read.”

          1 reply 2 retweets 17 likes
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        7. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          “I will say this only once: our customer is extremely sophisticated and actively participated in the reading, including asking appropriate questions about specifics of the contract. Stop. Now.” You go, broker. That Guy did not stop.

          2 replies 3 retweets 54 likes
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        8. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          I’ll spare you the whole back and forth, but it ended up with the most polite version of I-will-cut-you-if-you-blow-up-my-deal, including a very memorable line on “If you had an issue with this deal, the right time to raise it would have been before we put an executed contract

          2 replies 0 retweets 44 likes
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        9. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          which provides for a flat 20% of purchase price liquidated damages in event of breach in front of a sophisticated counterparty who I can guarantee you you could open Conderence Room 2 right now and ask to calculate that number to the yen.”

          2 replies 1 retweet 47 likes
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        10. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          Incidentally if you want some ambitious startup goals “Get pointedly not mentioned by name during a Tokyo real estate closing” is perhaps one to shoot for.

          1 reply 2 retweets 30 likes
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        11. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          “Oh, in addition to the Condominim Association rules, an addendum was adopted during the most recent meeting. It, ah, with the disclaimer that of course this was adopted months ago and applies to everyone, naturally, well, privately owned accommodation businesses are...”

          1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
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        12. Patrick McKenzie‏ @patio11 10 Mar 2018
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          “... something of a thing in Tokyo recently.” “Ahh yes, even though that is a thing-that-is-just-not-done (非常識).” “Exactly! And since it is thing-that-is-just-not-done that some have accidentally wandered into doing the Condo Association decided to prohibit it explicitly.”

          4 replies 0 retweets 27 likes
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        13. End of conversation

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