In general the answer is “Immediately call your lawyer.”
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"...and that's the reason why our general counsel is mapped to '1' on my speed-dial."
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I’ve been wondering how much harder it is to get software certified (HIPAA, PCI, etc) if it’s not written in a C* or .net language. Any insight?
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You are radically overestimating the capabilities of those auditors. They almost never look at source code. They want to see your policy documents.
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In the EU privacy (data protection) rights inhere in all types of personal data, not just healthcare data. So all businesses offering online services to EU residents need to be aware of this issue anyway. Many tech startups aren't US only, so...
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