Random thought: I got a lot better socially after moving to Japan, partially because it forced me to really work on social skills to fit in.
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Replying to @patio11
"You're going to have to memorize some cultural rituals and successful behaviors, from books and observation." "OK, got it."
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Replying to @patio11
*I go off and work on this for a few years* "Oh btw did you know they write books about Americans?" "WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME."
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Replying to @kbal11
Not in particular; I read an awful lot of books. More of a "repeat techniques which were explicitly taught/practiced in class."
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Here's an example: there is a Right Way to respond to a comment in Japanese. You deflect it. We were *drilled* on a phrase for this.
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*compliment, not a comment
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I never felt guilty about having a canned response for compliments in Japanese because my teachers told me to have one.
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Since age very young, I had not handled compliments well in the US. I got a lot better after caching an appropriate response.
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(e.g. Most of time if someone says they love my writing I will say "Thanks, that made my day/morning" rather than self-deprecating.)
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Replying to @patio11
Interesting! I find the compliment acceptance/deflection difficult. Intrigued as to how I get on next month in Japan.
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