Anyone in sales: “I used to do sales.”, which is probably not a lie to a salesperson given the expansive set of jobs which require a little bit of selling and cultural tolerance for a bit of truth stretching during the dance.
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A bank: a) Do it only on paper. b) Address to any of Office of the President, Chief Compliance Pfficer, General Counsel, or Investor Relations.
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A bank, but I don’t want to go to war I just want to skip the line: Get whatever their cheapest premium product is, call the phone number for *that*, and ask for an internal transfer to any group you need.
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Any bureaucracy: Present as if you are collecting a paper trail. Prominent indicia of this include notebooks, organized files, and repeatedly asking for specific names, dates, and citations for authority “for my notes.”
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An internal recruiter: Find the hiring manager, make sure you have a relationship with them, too. Use the recruiter for scheduling and logistic support.
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Any large company mailroom: Certified mail, return receipt requested.
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Healthcare: I’m unwilling to lie (including specifically about having practiced a regulated profession) but suffice it to say I dial Dangerous Professional up to 11 and if people come to the impression that I practice but in another specialty well they’re welcome to their guesses
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(This is partly about demeanor, above all not looking confused about the process, and partly judicious use of shibboleths. I’m occasionally surprised how few are required; it isn’t a state secret that “500mg of acetaminophen” and “a Tylenol” are the same thing.)
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Open source software developers: Mention that you compiled their code from source. Almost certain to get you a higher assumed level of competence than if you installed a precompiled binary package. (Assuming, of course, that the code in question is in a compiled language.)
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Or “all the tests pass”, showing you got it set up and tests passing. And provide a screenshot of the tests passing.
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