And this with the Internet! Unshackled from the tyranny of physical location you can now pick a tribe anywhere in the world, and yet so many of us sort of sleepwalk our way into the tribe defined by our high school cafeteria’s seating choices.
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I also think we have insufficient cultural scripts for this question, because most scripts for the ancestral environment rhyme with “You can’t choose your children’s’ friends but you can choose what pool they pick from” and “Be judicious about romantic partners; friends find you”
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(Oh boy is it a harrowing thought that who one’s children interact with on social media are likely approximately as impactful on their happiness as their closest 5 IRL friends. You can think of all sorts of bad choices here.)
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(And the truly terrifying thing is there are some choices that society would say are good choices that are actually terrible choices and not only will you be discouraged from operationalizing that distinction you will be discouraged from even thinking it out loud.)
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End of conversation
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