Worth noting that sometimes this is not “We will not tell you.” it is simply “I don’t have that information.” A fair response is: “OK, table that question for the moment, but I’d appreciate you asking your CFO for it. You have my email address; they have those numbers.” https://twitter.com/chrisalbon/status/1188317041737945089 …
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Incidentally, in the case where someone says “I can’t tell you what the equity is worth”, read that like “I can’t negotiate salary”: it’s a negotiating position, and abandonable for any candidate they want to close.
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Stripe sharing details about options buyback programs moved the needle on my internal valuation on what Stripe options are worth to me (though it wasn’t zero before).
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Re 2: Assuming the employer means usable equity (and not options for non-vote 3rd preference dilutable shares with no foreseeable liquidity event) they could start by describing example cash-in scenarios. That can show the level of "the equity is basically monopoly money" risk.
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