As someone who has dealt with possibly the only landlords anywhere more likely to be puzzled by an entrepreneur than those in the Bay Area, my first suggestion to this is "ask your CPA to write something very official looking."
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"Shit man, what are any of us going to do? It is a company and it has a policy. Well that settles it. A Delaware C corporation, in its majestic authority, hath decreed that I cannot satisfy this requirement. I guess that means I'm exempt right." works far, far more than it should
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The only time I've seen Patrick swearing is when he's quoting an SF landlord
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