I grew up in a social milieu which expects self-effacing behavior and I know many other folks who are socialized similarly. This is not generally rewarded in the American professional sphere.
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This was great. I’d love to hear the Japanese counterparts, particularly because I imagine they’d be an excellent illustration of the contrast you mention among some cultures.
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「とんでもございません。」(Tonde mo gozaimasen.) is my macroed response to any compliment in Japanese which is not about my children, where I am straight up unwilling to make the socially mandatory response. It doesn't translate well because it is a ritual phrase.
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I look at it this way: Somebody took the effort to notice/ compliment/ thank. Don't take that away from them.
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So how do you respond?
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Yeah, "I am an unworthy servant; I have only done what was my duty" (Luke 17:10) doesn't go over well in the American business culture.
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I programmed myself to automatically reply "thank you" to all compliments and things that vaguely resemble them... and then much later realized that ending the conversation at "thank you" is the opposite of the conversation-starter goal for which most people use compliments.
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