fungbunger

@parsfarce

this account stands in reverence of my twelve girl followers (The Chosen Twelve)

Vrijeme pridruživanja: kolovoz 2014.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    22. srp 2018.

    after 46 years as a “not allowed to watch the simpsons” child, mother has finally allowed me 10 minutes of viewing. notations: 1. What does marge mean by “snuggle” 2. the spike haired boy - who is he 3. mother was right to protect me

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    fully functional foreskin ✔️ 10mg lexapro daily ✔️ hereditary heart condition ✔️ Been to Darwin twice before the age of 14 ✔️ lump on foot ✔️

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  3. 6. velj

    fully functional foreskin ✔️ 10mg lexapro daily ✔️ hereditary heart condition ✔️ Been to Darwin twice before the age of 14 ✔️ lump on foot ✔️

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    [me after a tweet gets 4 RT 47 likes] me: hey everyone locking my account and going offline for a while. need to reset and get away from all the craziness DickLord245: you’re so brave and so loved me: I know

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  5. 6. velj

    DAILY BERNIE ROUTINE: The Workout That Got Sanders Ripped For The Primary

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  6. 5. velj

    [me after a tweet gets 4 RT 47 likes] me: hey everyone locking my account and going offline for a while. need to reset and get away from all the craziness DickLord245: you’re so brave and so loved me: I know

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  7. 5. velj

    bring back the good old days when if you were in year 7 and a teacher cried you would call him Mr. PussyBitch until you left high school in year 10 to work full time at Kingsford McDonald’s as assistant night manager

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  8. 5. velj

    the modern education system is making our teachers soft. bring back the belt

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I know women and I’ve met dozens of women and I can tell you exactly what women want, and that is a really cute little succulent.

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  10. 4. velj

    [me when I have an existing workload of negative 500% and a colleague asks me to perform a simple task well within the bounds of my role description and contractual obligations] sorry mate i’m already snowed under as is

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  11. 4. velj

    [me getting home after an 8 hour day of sitting at my desk doing literally nothing with my eyes glazed over by a thin moist sheath so that I can keep them open while slipping in and out of consciousness] wife: hi how wa- me: listen I’ve had a hell of a fuckin day alright

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Recovering from my fever and watching The Super Bowl. all the players are acknowledging me directly and phasing in and out of the walls. Great game so far

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    I live in a sharehouse with three boys

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    its somehow bad no matter where you look

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  15. 3. velj

    women love my rugged yet boyish good looks and my chiseled six pack and my big fat pussy

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Can boomers make a single anti Bernie meme that doesn't make him look cool as shit?

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj
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  19. 2. velj

    the dude who designed side view mirrors could have spent like 2 more weeks on research and development but instead was like “fuck it objects will just be closer than they appear”

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Family court dad LEVEL 100

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    22. srp 2019.

    Greece is a city in turkey

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