Steve  

@papaneedscoffee

Melbourne coffee snob and perpetually exhausted dad to two toddlers (2y.o + 3y.o) by adoption. My dog takes better selfies than me..

Donegal, Ireland
Vrijeme pridruživanja: studeni 2019.

Tweetovi

Blokirali ste korisnika/cu @papaneedscoffee

Jeste li sigurni da želite vidjeti te tweetove? Time nećete deblokirati korisnika/cu @papaneedscoffee

  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    3. velj

    My 3y.o struggled to find his words. A year ago, he barely referred to me as “Papa” and was largely silent. However with some excellent speech therapy and lots of practice he demonstrated his new skills at dinner last night, looking down at his plate and saying: “What the fuck?”

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 6 sati

    🎶At first I was annoyed, I was furious Kept thinking I could never live without such little sleep But then I spent so many nights awake and with you in my arms And I grew strong And I learned how to get along With little sleep And much coffeeee I will survive🎶 - my anthem

    Poništi
  3. Today my baby turned 2. Which is apparently old enough to bake his own cake..

    Poništi
  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    My favorite yoga position involves my couch, Doritos and sleeping children.

    Poništi
  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    After a day full of taking the boys to the movies, playing games, having pizza, and general merriment. 5: Mom, why do we never do anything exciting. Me:

    Poništi
  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    My 3 year old calls Flonase "mommy's special nose medicine" and now my neighbor thinks I do cocaine.

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    I talk a lot of shit for someone who has strong opinions on folding fitted sheets.

    Poništi
  8. 6. velj

    Today I forgot to pack my toddlers change of clothes, only realising when they were naked in the changeroom after their swim As I dashed through the lobby with kids wrapped in towels, my 3y.o further punished me by yelling “Look at my bum bum!” while attempting to expose himself

    Poništi
  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    6:02 PM-My kids do not like carrots. 6:06 PM-I am eating carrots. 6:06 PM-My kids love carrots so much they are screaming. 6:07 PM-I give in, give them my plate and they devour all of it. 6:13 PM-My wife gives them more on their plates. 6:13 PM-My kids do not like carrots.

    Poništi
  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Me: goodnight son I love you. 3yo: daddy? Me: yes? 3yo: your breath stinks. Me: sleep tight *unplugs nightlight*

    Poništi
  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    To alleviate the 38 bedtime requests for water, I’ll be installing hamster style water bottles in my children’s rooms.

    Poništi
  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Hello, I’ve finished my free trial of adulting and I’m no longer interested. I’d like to cancel my subscription. Is there a manager I can speak to?

    Poništi
  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    What I wish I could do to my 3yo’s never ending list of utterly ridiculous demands:

    Poništi
  14. 5. velj

    My thanks to the dedicated Speech and Language therapists who helped Jasper find his words, now if they could teach me how to keep him quiet..

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    My unsolicited parenting advice? Clip your kids toe nails with your mouth closed. You’re welcome.

    Poništi
  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Parenthood has made me so tired that even in my sex dreams, I'm asleep.

    Poništi
  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    You ever look at your kids when they're playing by themselves so sweetly and quietly and think "what evil thing are you plotting to do to me later?"

    Poništi
  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    My toddler is crying because she ran out of farts. It's nice to know that 6 years and 3 kids in I can still be surprised by the things they will cry over.

    Poništi
  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. tra 2019.

    When a child loses a tooth, some parents put a dollar under their pillow. Other parents leave a book called, “Your Disintegrating Body.”

    Poništi
  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    I don’t like to brag but I just backed up my phone on the iCloud for the first time ever so let me know if you need a tech expert.

    Poništi
  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Me and my husband are so sick of being cock blocked by our kids that we’re buying a TV to put in the basement just to shut them up. If that doesn’t work our next step is to get several LARGE cages with impenetrable locks.

    Poništi

Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.

Twitter je možda preopterećen ili ima kratkotrajnih poteškoća u radu. Pokušajte ponovno ili potražite dodatne informacije u odjeljku Status Twittera.

    Možda bi vam se svidjelo i ovo:

    ·