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Prikvačeni tweet
My 3y.o struggled to find his words. A year ago, he barely referred to me as “Papa” and was largely silent. However with some excellent speech therapy and lots of practice he demonstrated his new skills at dinner last night, looking down at his plate and saying: “What the fuck?”
Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
At first I was annoyed, I was furious
Kept thinking I could never live without such little sleep
But then I spent so many nights awake and with you in my arms
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
With little sleep
And much coffeeee
I will survive
- my anthemHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Today my baby turned 2. Which is apparently old enough to bake his own cake..pic.twitter.com/PLduez0GOa
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
My favorite yoga position involves my couch, Doritos and sleeping children.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
After a day full of taking the boys to the movies, playing games, having pizza, and general merriment. 5: Mom, why do we never do anything exciting. Me:pic.twitter.com/zBhe2OoRVY
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
My 3 year old calls Flonase "mommy's special nose medicine" and now my neighbor thinks I do cocaine.
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
I talk a lot of shit for someone who has strong opinions on folding fitted sheets.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Today I forgot to pack my toddlers change of clothes, only realising when they were naked in the changeroom after their swim As I dashed through the lobby with kids wrapped in towels, my 3y.o further punished me by yelling “Look at my bum bum!” while attempting to expose himself
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
6:02 PM-My kids do not like carrots. 6:06 PM-I am eating carrots. 6:06 PM-My kids love carrots so much they are screaming. 6:07 PM-I give in, give them my plate and they devour all of it. 6:13 PM-My wife gives them more on their plates. 6:13 PM-My kids do not like carrots.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
Me: goodnight son I love you. 3yo: daddy? Me: yes? 3yo: your breath stinks. Me: sleep tight *unplugs nightlight*
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
To alleviate the 38 bedtime requests for water, I’ll be installing hamster style water bottles in my children’s rooms.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
Hello, I’ve finished my free trial of adulting and I’m no longer interested. I’d like to cancel my subscription. Is there a manager I can speak to?
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
What I wish I could do to my 3yo’s never ending list of utterly ridiculous demands:pic.twitter.com/anFXgeHoAI
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My thanks to the dedicated Speech and Language therapists
@LCHNHSTrust who helped Jasper find his words, now if they could teach me how to keep him quiet..Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
My unsolicited parenting advice? Clip your kids toe nails with your mouth closed. You’re welcome.
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
Parenthood has made me so tired that even in my sex dreams, I'm asleep.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
You ever look at your kids when they're playing by themselves so sweetly and quietly and think "what evil thing are you plotting to do to me later?"
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
My toddler is crying because she ran out of farts. It's nice to know that 6 years and 3 kids in I can still be surprised by the things they will cry over.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
When a child loses a tooth, some parents put a dollar under their pillow. Other parents leave a book called, “Your Disintegrating Body.”
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
I don’t like to brag but I just backed up my phone on the iCloud for the first time ever so let me know if you need a tech expert.
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Steve proslijedio/la je Tweet
Me and my husband are so sick of being cock blocked by our kids that we’re buying a TV to put in the basement just to shut them up. If that doesn’t work our next step is to get several LARGE cages with impenetrable locks.
Hvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi
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