Me: “Alexa, turn off the lights.” Alexa: “Something went wrong.” Me: “What went wrong?” Alexa: “CALL 911!” Me… That escalated weirdly.

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Pac

@pacspad

Jul 14

Any suggestions for enrichment activities for a super smart kitty? Other than turning off the “pet lock” on the roomba? It’s like his best friend ghosted him. 😿

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Pac

@pacspad

Jul 4

Husband folding clothes: “I think there’s a problem with the dryer.” Me: “Oh… that basket was for CLEAN clothes? Anyway, awesome workout.”

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“He lunged up with his tiny hands But he could not steer The Beast” — “Hotel America,” Modern Eagles

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Tide. Blue Tide.

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The people who also say that gun bans couldn’t possibly work are absolutely positive that banning abortions will work perfectly.

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Watching Ana Navarro shred Alice Stewart about the impact of caring for mentally & physically challenged adults in her family, when Alice couldn't answer why there are over 400K children/teens in foster care... if adoption is the answer to overturning Roe.

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Expand the court. Do it now, Dems. Run on it if need be, in the midterms.

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This channel keeps switching between men’s and women’s rugby and my boner doesn’t know what to do.

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Pac

@pacspad

Apr 17

I wish I could go back in time and tell young Pac that one day, in the distant future, your bunnies will be solid.

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Pac

@pacspad

Apr 11

Dinner was a little late because some lizards were doing it right in front of the grill.

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Pac

@pacspad

Mar 20

If you can’t ride it, beat it.

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Pac

@pacspad

Mar 19

I always need to combine multiple shots in photoshop to get them both looking at the camera. Happy #caturday.

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Pac

@pacspad

Feb 21

Poor North United States get no respect.

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Pac

@pacspad

Feb 19

I’m not even allowed to sing along to the car radio because the lyrics could be interpreted as backseat driving instructions. 🙄

Pac

@pacspad

Feb 7

I bought Luis a rice cooker for Xmas and we’re using the heck out of it. I asked him yesterday to make an extra batch of rice to put in the fridge for fried rice. I pull it out tonight and of course there’s fucking beans in it. Get ready for some fusion y’all. 🙄

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and

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Pac

@pacspad

Jan 26

I saw Gilbert off from my doorstep with a loud “Enjoy your meatballs and deodorant!!” Because, based on what he was carrying, that was super accurate.

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Pac

@pacspad

Jan 22

I can now say Marilu Henner has seen me in my underpants and that’s a sight she won’t soon forget.

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She warned us.

Hillary Clinton: Donald Trump Has History of Complaining About...

Hillary Clinton criticizes Donald Trump over his reaction to situations where he loses.» Subscribe to NBC News: http://nbcnews.to/SubscribeToNBC» Watch more ...

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Pac

@pacspad

Jan 10

How do I stream the new season of #rupaulsdragrace? Is my #ParamountPlus subscription useless now?

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Pac

@pacspad

Jan 7

Is #Flurona like Sharknado?

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Pac

@pacspad

Jan 1

I just ate a can of black eyed peas. I already feel the good luck welling up from deep inside.

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Pac

@pacspad

Dec 25, 2021

The oil painting of my husband that I commissioned didn’t turn out exactly as I’d planned. 🤨

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Pac

@pacspad

Dec 25, 2021

I’m afraid for him to find the tshirt in his stocking. 😬

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My husband is talking to his sister. She got a 2022 Lexus SUV with a huge bow. He had to tell her he got an Oral B toothbrush. With a tiny bow.

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Of course Gus gets the big box and Rusty gets the little box.

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Pac

@pacspad

Dec 24, 2021

It’s Krampus!! 🙀

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Pac

@pacspad

Dec 24, 2021

Now he’s yelling “Alexa, lower!”.

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My husband is in the shower yelling “Alexa, louder!” But the music on the bathroom speaker is playing off this iPad. I wonder for a few seconds if it’s worth explaining to him, sigh, and dutifully turn up the volume.

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