@oscarewilde

sometimes maybe funny, sometimes maybe not

instagram.com/oscarewilde/
Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2013.
1.226 fotografija ili videozapisa Fotografije i videozapisi

Tweetovi

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    10. lis 2018.

    all my good tweets are compiled here for 1) easy browsing and 2) so i can remind myself that i am capable of being funny

    12 proslijeđenih tweetova 180 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  2. 4. velj

    tuesday afternoon it’s time for rex mice and rats

    1 reply 91 proslijeđeni tweet 339 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  3. 4. velj

    real ones will remember the Omulette tweet

    1 reply 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  4. 4. velj

    doctor: do you have any questions? me: would a lucky talisman made of eggs be called an omulette? doctor: i meant about your antidepressants

    20 proslijeđenih tweetova 124 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  5. 4. velj

    did i delete my omulette tweet? what the fuck. i’m tweeting it again

    1 reply 20 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  6. 4. velj

    i was waiting for her to do Something with the tomato but she never did, it went back in her bag so i think it was unrelated and she just didn’t want it getting crushed by her laptop in there. I wished she’d just eaten it like an apple

    1 reply 94 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  7. 4. velj

    shout out to the girl in my lecture yesterday who arrived 10 minutes late, sat down next to me, placed a large tomato on the desk (???) opened up her laptop, Black Swan by BTS thundered out and she slammed the mute button with such force she nearly broke the keyboard in half

    20 proslijeđenih tweetova 284 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  8. 4. velj

    i thought the iowa caucuses was a mountain range

    3 proslijeđena tweeta 44 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  9. 3. velj

    i love the people i follow on here. if you held a gun to my head i couldn’t tell you either one of the teams that played in the super bowl last night because no one has said Anything about it but i Could tell you every track Shakira sang and in what order

    4 proslijeđena tweeta 66 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  10. 3. velj

    you follow me on letterboxd and for what? to see me rate marriage story two stars and log the bee movie four times in one month?

    2 proslijeđena tweeta 34 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    sorry i was late bro. i jus spent 45 minutes tucking my oversized shirt into my pants.

    157 replies 39.862 proslijeđena tweeta 190.665 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    I decided that this year, every day, I would knit a row on a scarf to mark the corresponding daily temperature/weather of my town. It felt like a good way to engage with the changing climate and with the changing year. A way to notice and not look away. Here's January then.

    2.506 replies 56.220 proslijeđenih tweetova 377.849 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    14. lis 2017.

    [aeroplane] me: wow like the guy who killed jesus? pontius the pilot: sir for the 8th time get out of the cockpit and return to your seat

    100 proslijeđenih tweetova 511 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    24. lip 2018.

    [western scientists, naming the capybara through a ballot] scientist: okay so we've got 17 votes for 'Capybara', derived from Tupi it means 'one who eats slender leaves'. Very Nice. We've also got one vote for [squinting at the paper] ........ The Enormouse

    13 replies 315 proslijeđenih tweetova 1.304 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. lis 2017.

    [Wild West car dealership] cowboy: what kind of car do you sell? dealer: audi cowboy: yeah hi what kind of car do you sell?

    668 proslijeđenih tweetova 2.242 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  16. 1. velj

    43 proslijeđena tweeta 213 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  17. 1. velj

    ah yes, forza

    24 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  18. 1. velj

    [naval base dock] admiral: did you bring the sub? me: yes other admiral: why can i smell meatball marinara sauce? me, under my breath: oh fuck

    3 proslijeđena tweeta 42 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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  19. 1. velj

    yeah i watched the good place finale at 2:30am last night and no i will not be discussing it

    1 proslijeđeni tweet 80 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  20. 31. sij

    Fireworks because of brexit? Dear lord, what a sad little life Jane. You ruined my night completely just so you could have the money. I hope now you will spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum because you have all the grace of a reversing dump trunk without any t

    40 proslijeđenih tweetova 179 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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  21. 31. sij

    apple juice.. is a health potion

    1 reply 3 proslijeđena tweeta 19 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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