A lot of the fear/anger that cishet women experience in these situations is really because they believe that queer men are fundamentally 'less than men', and that they have not only been cheated on but been cheated out of the chance to partner with a 'real man'.
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A queer man could be in a monogamous marriage with a cishet woman and never cheat on her with another man...and she would still respond in the socially sanctioned way that diminishes his humanity, because he fucked men before he married her.
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I really should stop holding up mirrors to the faces of cishet people who believe it is unconscionable for queer people to do what they must to survive violently homophobic societies. Why do I like trouble like this??

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Pls explain, genuinely need clarification, thanks.
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In a society where men’s lives can be destroyed/ended because they desire men, and where marriage is more about accessing humanity through respectability than about romantic desire, uncritically vilifying queer men for nondisclosure implies they don’t deserve to access survival.
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So what about the woman??
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Apparently, she doesn't matter
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This is it for me. No other take holds water. Should 2 oppressed groups oppress each other? If they have agreed with each other then there's no issue.
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