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O L I V R
@olivrstal
STR84WRD simplicity
O L I V R’s Tweets
The excuses “I have to” and “I can’t” are ways you avoid the social consequences of admitting to your actual priorities in any given situation.
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Thank god for nighttime when you can stop feeling bad about not doing things and pretend that tomorrow you will do things
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There are about 30 minutes a day where I feel good and productive and hopefully that’s enough to build a career
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hund (3) hat mich heute gefragt warum rassisten Bus fahren dürfen aber er nicht mit in den supermarkt darf
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Find someone who cares about you as much as gmail cares about new devices signing into your account
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interviewer: what’s your greatest strength
me: you tell me
interviewer:
me:
interviewer: delegating?
me: that’s right
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[mysterious old lady flips tarot card revealing a dude who looks exactly like me flying a hot air balloon into power lines]
Me: is that good
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alf sieht aus wie eine crossaint ich wollte den bastard immer in kopf beißen
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me: can I buy you a drink
girl (who is a teacher): I don’t know, can you?
me (also a teacher): no
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Since hair can’t be preserved in fossils we can’t rule out the possibility that dinosaurs looked like this
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In this tweet I’m an owl barber (tweet is already funny) and when I’m done trimming the owl I hold up a mirror behind owl’s head and he just slowly turns his head 180 degrees to face me and says “I fuckin love it”
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"Son, we need to talk"
Ok dad
"You were an accident"
Wow, ok. Thanks for telling me.
"And you were adopted. We adopted you by accident"
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doctor: are you sexually active
me: [drinking an entire glass of water]
my puppet: no
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unfortunately, it has been removed 1 or 2 days after my installation.
(disclaimer: this is not meant to be anti obama or even racist! and since mr. obama is a dog owner himself i could imagine he would approve this message.)
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after walking through my german neighborhood i discovered this dog sign with “NO!” written on it and immediately barack obama’s voice popped into my head: “YES WE CAN!”.
so - for the rights of all dogs - i turned on my computer and created this sign
#dogs #animalrights #streetart
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