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I'm heartbroken. I just removed Golf from my bio. I really love that game. But I'm currently waiting for my country club to issue me a written statement (per email) saying that trans women are only allowed in their women's locker room after genital surgery. 1/
They offered to build a special changing room just for me, but made it very clear that it would not be my choice which locker room I'd prefer. They said none of this is transphobic. They just want to protect me from their transphobic members.. 2/
Alternatively they offered to write a letter to every single woman renting a locker there, explaining my genital configuration, and if none would reject then they would allow me in there. Apparently they are completely oblivious to how wrong and humiliating that would be. 3/
In all the "solutions" they offered they came up with yet another way to have other people, cis people, judge my gender for me, decide for me where I belong. In most cases "for my own good". I heard "you don't actually want that anyway" a lot. 4/
What I actually want is to play other courses. But how would that work there, considering that my home club is already this shitty? What could I possibly say to them if they want to throw me out of the women's toilet, or want to force me to use the men's locker room? 5/
I'd love to say confidently that it's a non-issue at my home club. But I can't. All I can say is, yes, my home club also thinks I'm a misfit, a freak, a danger to cis woman, and they completely agree with you that I need to be excluded and othered and humiliated. 6/
I really hope they'll get to their senses when they are trying to put their position in writing. But even if they do.. I've heard all those things, seen how they actually perceive me. I can't unhear and unsee those things. I don't think I want to ever go back there again. 7/
I've been crying so much over this in the last week. I've been so f*cking suicidal over all this sh*t in the last week. I don't think there's any way left to resolve this. And I feel like every time I go there I experience something more extreme than the last time. 8/
And obviously I can't have that in my life. I've literally started Golf because I hoped it would help with my suicidality. Right now it's the main thing causing it. I just can't have that in my life. I have to quit golf. 
9/9
PS: I'd 
prefer a unisex locker room, btw. But it would need to be a proper unisex locker room, available to every player who would prefer that, and it would need to be _my_choice_ where I'd feel more comfortable.
What they proposed wasn't that at all.
Update: I've been playing another course today and the whole locker room thing was just a non issue. It was the most relaxing round of golf I've played in months. Maybe I'll just switch home course and everything will be fine..
Yikes! Have they considered ... you know... expelling people that engage in transphobia instead of putting the burden of protecting yourself from abusive members on you?
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