I think it should be everyone's New Year's resolution to ask that question to at least one person. It would make the world a lot better.
About a year ago I lashed out at my best friend and instead of asking "why are you attacking me?" or "why are you such a mean person?" she asked "where is all that pain coming from?" That was the smartest question anyone ever asked me.
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... and to realize that anger says something more about oneself than the target of one's anger.
End of conversation
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EQ like IQ is also a somewhat intrinsic property and not necessarily able to be learned for some. For example, the agitation from those with Asperger or autism is known as “emotional authenticity”. No coincidence that ‘aut’ is common in creative types. It is an excuse.
End of conversation
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It’s difficult to not judge people or even judge oneself. I always say “behaviour is a reflection of internal state” so should be judged in context to what created the internal state, not in isolation. This does not make it any easier for me to accept my own behavior though
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