Why are people wearing jackets. Two layers in this heat?! 
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(I do go outside though. I like horseback riding, and sometimes even the beach! I just uh, wear a shirt)
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One shirt but not 2 layers right?

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I think my ideal "swim"wear might be something like this (though maybe with some very light sleeves)pic.twitter.com/ny4LgR85mV
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I'm sure patterns for those still exist so not impossible!
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Ooh, maybe. Granted vintage patterns can be a pain to work with, but at least some of these seem relatively simple
End of conversation
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