I have nothing to say on how to address this. These people are confused and I think sadly inadvertently harm others. The real culprits are the abusive people themselves of course.
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I guess one solution is genuinely think before you say somebody is really good. Are they actually really good or just good towards you? Why are they good to you — how are they good to you? Do they just seem to surround themselves with other dudes? Etc., etc.
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I realise these otherwise nice ppl don't know what's going on for various reasons including their privilege, denial, & social isolation. 