That is a good thing, but my reaction to it wasn’t positive. I worked long hours, agonized over my talks (research and teaching!). I became uninterested in and sick of my work. I was invited to interview at universities with faculty I looked up to and was intimidated by. (4/n)
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I got imposter syndrome worse than I've ever had. I thought a lot about my past, felt I didn’t fit in. Most of my close friends know, but I did not take a traditional path to academia. I grew up very poor with addict parents (my step dad died of an overdose one year ago). (5/n)
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In 2005 I was a high school dropout working at a gas station in KY. I went to college on the suggestion of my therapist and had no clue what I was doing. Mentors nudged me along, told me about graduate school. It hasn’t been easy. (6/n)
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I was lucky to continue to find great mentors and my partner who have pushed me along during times when it seemed impossible. Things didn’t get easier once I finished my PhD. I entered into a postdoc with very uncertain funding. (7/n)
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Again, I got to connect with great mentors, but had to prep and teach in my first year and seek out alternative funding in my second year, and now my funding has run out. Yep, I’m technically unemployed right now (I'm working on some funding though, don't worry!). (8/n)
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I’m not sure I have any advice except everyone is working their asses off to get somewhere and some people are probably busting ass more than you can understand. If that is you, reach out to people, ask for support. You might be surprised how much people want you to succeed (9/n)
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I’ve been overwhelmed by the support from friends, mentors, and strangers on the internet (my tweeps!). Seriously, people I barely know have given me advice, had an impromptu meeting with me, reviewed my materials and talks. It's been amazing. I've had gratitude cries. (10/n)
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All of this support helped me convince myself to give this whole process 100% in the face of the imposter syndrome. I’m not name dropping in this thread, but seriously, I’m standing on the shoulders of so many giants and they keep me motivated to do my best work. (11/n)
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If you’re going through it right now, don’t beat yourself up about how productive you are. One thing I’m glad I did during all of this was prioritize my health. Over the past few months my research came to a stop and all of my reviews were late (sorry!!) (12/n).
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But I exercised more (PR on my 5k time and some gainz!), spent time w/ friends, and chopped a lot of veggies. If you need some of that right now, just commit to it and get your mental and physical health to a place where you can focus. The productivity will follow (end).
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Thank you for sharing your journey. Many of us, like you say, have had similarly difficult paths.
in so happy we're managing to make the best of it, survive, thrive. 
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