I come from a culture which likes to play with words meanings. For instance, to state that someone is witty we say "Eres muy puta" which literally means you are quite a whore. But I bet many ppl wouldn't like their kids to hear it. Words also convey social implicit meanings! 
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Yep. Saying a word has a given meaning in a given context says nothing about how it might change in another content or at another time.
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The reason I dislike this: "Which proves it is ultimately about what the speaker means by the words and what the hearer means by the words, not with some objective fact about any particular word."
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Is because it implies, and I may have misunderstood you of course, that speakers and listeners share some equal "blame" so to speak.
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So if I say "you run like a girl" to a grown woman, then she shares blame with me if she gets upset at my rude and sexist outburst.
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I guess: if you'd say: you run like a girl, not aware of the connotation. then nobody is to blame. the womans rage would be real. your genuine surprise too. There is not one meaning shared, you have used two word contents sharing one word form? however, this is ubiquitous?
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but if you know the connotation, its different.
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I find it hard to believe somebody would say it without knowing and often the harm done is equivalent. Like Abeba and I have mentioned about the times we have misspoken in the past the correct reaction is: apology and listening, regardless.
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When you stamp on somebody's foot you apologise.
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Jelle Retweeted Jelle
(i just typed this in another part)https://twitter.com/theblub/status/956963814209130496?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E1 …
Jelle added,
Jelle @theblubReplying to @theblub @o_guest and 8 othersfor me, the fact that words have no fixed meaning cannot be used as excuse in social encounters. what happens in the encounter is real. both parties sense if A is offensive to B and knows it. Or didn't, yet senses a line was crossed. Then, you apologize& say "I didn't mean that"1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
I think we're pretty much (as much as is possible) on the same page after you elaborated. 
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