I'm only catching up with my notifications now. I'm also, only catching up with the nuanced cultural meanings attached to these words, which they don't teach you in school, only recently, since living in an English speaking country.
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The reason I dislike this: "Which proves it is ultimately about what the speaker means by the words and what the hearer means by the words, not with some objective fact about any particular word."
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Is because it implies, and I may have misunderstood you of course, that speakers and listeners share some equal "blame" so to speak.
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So if I say "you run like a girl" to a grown woman, then she shares blame with me if she gets upset at my rude and sexist outburst.
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That's not how speaking and listening works IMHO.

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Although the receiver does not share blame for the infraction, the receiver is responsible for his/her own response, & some responses are healthier than others. A person who reacts well to interaction with a bully might come away with a new friend.
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I find it a very empathic reaction to what you call a bully. Perhaps we use the word differently. I had tons of bullies in my childhood and beyond and the only reaction that has _ever_ worked well for me was in January 2016 when I finally went to the police.
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A bully who commits assault should be prosecuted. In high school I was once placed head first in a tall trash can, which was then set up on a drinking fountain. Somehow though I left the situation unharmed and with the bully as a friend.
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That's rare — good for you.
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