Not sure people explicitly realise this, but when somebody is hurting and opens up and talks about it, one of the most hurtful things the other conversant(s) can do is reorient the topic to be about them and/or to be about jocular takes on the topic.
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*as a __function__ of context
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It's also important to pay attention to where you are, not just who you are talking to. I, and the majority of my friends, use exceptionally dark humor as a coping mechanism, doing it in the wrong place can create all kinds of issues.
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