I think the intention in this discussion is not to make the word taboo, but rather to draw attention to, and create awareness of how language use can help perpetuate the conceptualisation of male as default/normal/norm/neutral etc.
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Replying to @IrisVanRooij @twitemp1 and
I’ve been thinking about this all day. I think there is something that hasn’t been said but needs to be considered when applying rules based on averages/aggregates to individuals. What does it do to our personal communications when we disregard our priors about an individual when
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Replying to @zerdeve @IrisVanRooij and
interpreting their choices/behaviors? Are we all merely here to enact social biases or do our underlying thoughts/motives/assumptions matter at all? What purpose does calling out on people based on unique incidents (vs. repetitive behaviors) totally devoid of context and
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Replying to @zerdeve @IrisVanRooij and
completely disregarding our prior knowledge about the person serve? And how does it weigh against harm done against the person? These kinds of criticisms when directed at specific incidences may damage personal communications more than they actually serve a “greater”
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Replying to @zerdeve @IrisVanRooij and
social cause and this is not something to be taken lightly. My two cents.
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Replying to @zerdeve @IrisVanRooij and
although, that damage might well be temporary... and if the person accepts a correction then we have created a better future :)
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Replying to @mattsiegel @zerdeve and
Yes! I personally really have appreciated the times I've been called out on Twitter and in general — really enhanced my worldview. In fact just today I sent a PM thanking somebody for telling me I was wrong on something almost exactly a year ago (some anniversaries suck).
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Replying to @o_guest @mattsiegel and
Fully agreed. Including that some anniversaries suck. Being wrong can really be eye-opening. Problem is how does one learn that one is wrong when one thinks one is right, if no-one tells you? That's why it's so important that we trust each other to tell each other truth.
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Replying to @IrisVanRooij @mattsiegel and
Exactly. In the case I mentioned I realised it on my own and so I PMed the person to tell them I realised they were right all along, but like you said, in many cases we NEED to be told "You are wrong because X".
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Replying to @o_guest @mattsiegel and
For me it is the mark of a true friend if they'll tell you painful truths when needed. Not to harm, but actually out of care for your well being.
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Yes — so much this. Especially with respect to internalised things like self-derogatory words or acceptance of the status quo or normalisation of sexualised work environments [these are themes that have come up lately for me].
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