Who told you you don't have valid issues? 
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in unrelated instances: child helpline several times, gynaecologist, oxford
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That's incredibly bad. I've had similar and asked for people to be fired from their College at Oxford. People can be scum. This is what I
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i can't count the labs i was urged not to apply to in oxford. they think that to bully you due to your minority status is gatekeeping
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Yes, and you also described some gaslighting too. I'm sorry that it happened. Bad gatekeeping is abusive too.
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had a clear divide of whether it's ok to hit on your female staff. all men said it was ok (employer not interfere w priv choice), women not
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Oh wow. That's disturbing. I'm sorry. Not surprised at all though. Sadly this is normal.
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oddly, it's not unfriendly people
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Some of the friendliest people I know are abusive
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these people look at me with this inflated sense of entitlement that of course they can treat me like shit.
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Yeah, not sure I'd class that as friendly at all...? Superficially friendly maybe. Sounds more like slimey, elitist, privileged, bigoted.
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well, ok. they think that they are gatekeeping
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