For any following pairwise_distance-OMG-parallelism-is-tough-in-Python thing, @dimpase solved it — so grateful! 
https://github.com/oliviaguest/pairwise_distance/issues/2 …
this still has to cope with like 50 million data points though
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I took this literally and based on the 350k points in my postgres test this would 'only' take 10.5 years on my machine
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it's literal
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I really do have tons of points, I could get the literal exact number if you want soon
this is why C makes so much sense
End of conversation
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