Python's super slow for someth p simple, so I think I'll *cracks knuckles* write it in C. Survived C-only for 5 years — I can do this. 
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Replying to @o_guest
You've probably already tried this, but have you run with PyPy et al? Usually my first line of defense when Python is in a slow mood.
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Replying to @j6m8
I'm going to enjoy doing this in C so no worries. It's very simple, and you can totes try this code out in pypy:https://github.com/oliviaguest/pairwise_distance/blob/master/dima_version.py …
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bearing in mine I am going to run it on 50million data points. 
11:40 AM - 16 Apr 2017
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