First, there’s no such thing as “just being objective”. Sheesh! Second, this really is toxic behavior. Third, don’t be a dick. All of us are in this together. While we’re no better than each other, we have the ability to lift each other up.https://twitter.com/Satirony/status/1137138657679368192 …
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I wouldn't read too much into that myself, but maybe I'm too optimistic! Similarly, I don't think most people fundamentally lack kindness - some people might not show kindness because e.g. they're scared or feel out of their depth.
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I don't think it's a fundamental lack in the sense they can never be kind. I think they have learned not to be in certain contexts. This isn't the example I have like this, I can list off at least another 10 no problem. At least one per year in academia.https://twitter.com/o_guest/status/1137246214293000193 …
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In fact the reason I find it heartbreaking/disgusting is that they can be kind, as evidenced by seeing them do just that, but they chose not to be to certain people.
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Yeah - that kind of thing both saddens and angers me, and you're right that it happens a lot. I guess I'm just more optimistic that things can change, but then I say that from a position of huge privilege on pretty much every dimension...
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(except perhaps my weird surname and tendency to tan quickly...)
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I think things can change, but I don't think it's easy. It seems to be to be a typical case of "you can say you offer training/help to those who need it but if none of them think they need it, it's impossible to train/help anybody".
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It's painful to watch those who are the most responsible/poster people for bad behaviour be the same as those who seem to (superficially) decry it. Like the classic case of the male ally to feminism being an abuser.
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We're dealing with highly intelligent people (academics) who purposefully or just adaptively and without conscious realisation will find ways to continue as they are – being unkind in this case, or being outright abusive in others, it's a spectrum.
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If I say "hmm, weird inclusion of a known misogynist makes me think something is off here" others might say "it's just a blip, ignore". But if men come up with something way way more arbitrary like "no brown m&ms" that's seen as a genius heuristic!https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/brown-out/ …
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Well
@candor is in this thread, so let's see what they say! -
Fair point!
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OH GOD DAMN! Missed my chance to say: "Well, this is my radical candor for them!" *bows*
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I didn't know about Adams. Your tweet prompted me to research--thank you. A number of things are deeply troubling, so we are pulling this from the web site. I also referred to this in my second edition which I am now scrambling to edit. Now I'll research ppl before quoting them!
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Amazing. Thank you.

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Thank YOU! I should've done my homework...
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