I went to the doctor who told me I might have experienced a “fugue state”.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9rZjlsyYY …
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The word “fugue” does seem to fit, but I don’t think my experience really meets the diagnostic criteria (which include amnesia - in fact my memories were disturbingly vivid for many years afterward).
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I never found out what caused my night of psychosis, and I never experienced anything like it again.
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But it changed me. Maybe for the better in the end.
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I shook my sense of self, but also made me think that I'd seen an amplified version of the show-off/ego that was always inside me. I felt that needed to be better controlled.
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Coming back to the present day, and as I said in the original thread last year, I've had other experiences of mental illness - of a more 'mundane' kind, but no less serious and weirdly harder to talk about, perhaps.
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...because they're still with me.
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During my PhD I found that at one stage I couldn't enter the
@UCLPALS building - too much anxiety. I went for a bit of counselling (it helped!) and saw my doctor who prescribed a weird octagonal pill that I didn't get on with.1 reply 0 retweets 5 likesShow this thread -
And throughout my adult life, I've had periods of depression (I haven't been to the doctor, but I know the boxes and I tick them) often in Winter. This, really, is the worst of all. Thank God so far, it has never gone too deep.
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That's it. Hopefully in the future, talking about this kind of experience won't feel like a confession. I am starting to think most of us have been there. Even if not everyone has broken into the Royal Courts of Justice.
#IveGotThePower#MentalHealthAwarnessWeek23 replies 2 retweets 83 likesShow this thread
Thank you so much for sharing this. 
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:-) thanks for being supportive and for retweeting.
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