Many of us got 1+ graduate degrees in different countries w different languages, different fields, with no family around, under travel bans, in spite of deaths in the family, while being single, & without white privilege. simple spouse acknowledgements dont imply your impediment.
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Okay, so I have no excuse then! It's not just the lack of family, it's hanging on to the fact that they always told me how stupid and worthless I am. It's crushing my confidence in myself.
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Look at common experiences of ppl of color (ESP women) in academia. work is less cited, less likely to get jobs or talk invites, gotta shut down disrespect & talk-over by junior white men, some are told their race is dumber or culture is intellectually inferior, & still we rock.
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I'm so sorry. I feel so guilty now. I really have no right to complain.
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Hope providing evidence of academic success in spite of challenges motivates folks to make their own path in spite of challenges. There's no formula. None of us can say anything about the abilities or rights to complain for someone we do not know :) we can just share stories.
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Thank you! Honestly, this has given me a massive wake up slap because you're totally right - I have it relatively easy to many and if I can't progress then that's my own fault because none of my excuses are insurmountable. Thank you. X
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FWIW, worse for my self-doubt was self-imposing a lot of "should," inc. comparisons like, "If X finished early & published Y papers despite Z problems, I should be able to... esp. w/ Q advantages." Don't; it's counterproductive. Yes, note others' struggles, but it's no contest.
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We share stories. I was very motivated when I learned about the struggles of other women & ppl of color (esp RBG). Again: no single formula, we each make our own path. Neither struggles nor partner appreciation is about (or a comparison to) anyone else. It's our stories.
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Replying to @criticalneuro @DitchOntologist and
This is so beautiful and wholesome. FWIW I did my Ph.D. during a period where I was being domestically abused by my then partner. I'm super fine now. But even back then I'd just look at the people making it and just think "if they can, I can".
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Replying to @o_guest @criticalneuro and
Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I was being domestically abused by a boyfriend while doing my degree and it was awful so I totally relate. Congratulations on completing your studies! This thread has been so inspiring to me! xx
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