I wasn't told to quit, but for some reason I had the reputation of 'smart but lazy' most of my life and constant 'you won't make it with that work ethic' nonsense. I did leave academia, but not because I was lazy (I never was).
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During my undergrad is probably the period in my life I was told I was "stupid" (literally that word or just "women aren't as good at men at maths/compsci/programming") the most. Probably about once a week by another person on the same course, which was 90% men.
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I never believed it, but I did become convinced compsci was not a healthy environment for me. And I think that has to be taken into account when women (or anybody) leaves via a leaky pipeline. They are often making the right decision for them given toxic environment.
End of conversation
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I didn't need to learn for high school, either, and didn't really learn to learn as an undergrad. But my problems with perception extended beyond school and into active research life. But I'm much better when I can choose speed, depth, and content myself.
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