I almost got the feeling that being told "You're not cut out for research" is some rite of passage. I at least was told I'd never stick around, too.https://twitter.com/tpoi/status/1101205736812621824 …
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I don't think I was perceived as lazy AFAIK but I know I had really serious trouble keeping up with others who had been better trained than me (especially at the learning to learn skillset) at quite a few stages, something that, e.g., could be seen as "not trying hard enough".
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After undergrad things changed and I had much better skills, but I do wish I had them taught to me from high-school like a lot of UK kids had. I can totally see somebody who thought I was British-educated could have thought I was crap back then.

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During my undergrad is probably the period in my life I was told I was "stupid" (literally that word or just "women aren't as good at men at maths/compsci/programming") the most. Probably about once a week by another person on the same course, which was 90% men.
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I never believed it, but I did become convinced compsci was not a healthy environment for me. And I think that has to be taken into account when women (or anybody) leaves via a leaky pipeline. They are often making the right decision for them given toxic environment.
End of conversation
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They "diagnosed" me as intellectually gifted as a kid. Other than that I think I'm pretty "normal".
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