I've also been invited to stuff that they're absolutely no way I would have without Twitter. It's a strange place, but we have to be aware of the nasty stuff too. Because even despite all this lovely social and professional stuff, I was considering leaving Twitter in 2017...
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Same for racism when white people think PoCs are not around.
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Because I'm an ethnic minority and let me tell you the things I hear when people think the coast is clear about my people and other ethnic groups... WILD. It's so creepy how when they think "oh, phew, we can chat" — the whole vibe of the room changes.
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My skin is pale enough to grant me white privilege, but oh, fuck, it's also a ticket into a world where my mum is "ugly" and "no, that's not your mum, right?". So yeah, I think these spaces exist and those who have extreme privilege never get to see what's going on by design.

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To deconstruct that exclusionary aspect there are cases where like
@tom_hartley said the most privileged have to do the heavy lifting but there are cases where it's not possible for you to. You literally have to stop and let us talk without interruptions as well. -
Personally, I find this balance very tricky - between speaking out, and shutting up. I'm naturally talkative, so I have to try to identify moments where it is best for me to be quiet, and then consciously shut-up (I don't always succeed).
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You're good IMHO, Aidan. Keep up the solid work.
End of conversation
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Oh, I'm sure not. But, based on what my wife and female friends have told me, women have other ways of signalling group membership and status. It's just that in traditional, patriarchal male culture, status is founded on being hard and mean to "lower status" ppl, including women.
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I realize you're not defending this culture, but is there more that we can do to attack it. It's a massive problem, and it can't just be up to women to solve it.
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Oh, I'm 100% not defending it!!!! And it's not up to women at all! It's up to us men. It requires us giving each other *less* status when one of us get aggressive and mean.
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Because of the way status works in male groups (it seems to me), that means each man has to say less, listen more, and leave more space for others. With that in mind - I need to stop interjecting!
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I'm reluctant to say this in my position but I hope it'll be taken as constructive: I disagree that men should simply say less. Also on the role of 'might is right' It's all maladaptive in their lack of nuance Show might if you're right. Or the wrong will have all the might.
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Yeah, please punch Nazis, for example.
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Yes but srsly, Ive thought a lot on this issue, in part due to having experienced Dutch Frat culture. Men must speak the language of strength and aggression, if they are to change the issue from within, with more than dismissal and avoidance. I feel this fact is often ignored
End of conversation
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