There have a few “how to succeed in academia” tweets lately. I love the sentiments behind them but please allow my cynical self to offer a list for academic psychology where “success” is defined differently – as real-world influence, fame, and fortune.
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1. Don’t study a problem – advocate a solution, preferably one solution for many types of problems. 2. Create a “new” area of inquiry so that you appear to be a pioneer. 3.Make claims about a very large effect – preferably of the “secret to success” type.
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4. Have a powerful mentor/advisor – preferably at an Ivy League. 5. Willfully misunderstand research methods & basic statistics. 6. Your claimed effects should ideally be slightly counter-intuitive. 7. Never correct the scientific record when mistakes in your work are identified.
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8. Try to publish a couple of papers in “elite” journals that have reviewers who are unfamiliar with your methods/stats. 9. Hit the NPR, TED, HBR, Fortune Magazine circuit. 10. Make vague noises about reproducibility.
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