I totally get that. And for me, that's one of the most difficult things about gender bias. It's a whole other level of thinking that guys don't have to process, i.e. "is it my gender, or is it me, or are they just being assholes and it's not me or my gender?"
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Co-opting "tone policing" was a bro-y thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tone_policing …
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Be sure to scroll up in that thread.
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