I see the psychological advise, and I don't put up with it anymore. People are like, “why confront them? It's just a painful experience. Walk away, and just let them do their thing.” And I'm like… what.
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Having been abused, people confronting him in public made me suffer so much more in private. Anybody who supported me in public meant well but I was too brainwashed to fully understand and my abuser punished me for it behind the scenes.

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Indeed. I rarely intervene in “private” abuse for this reason. But—especially with psychological advise—they might just pick up abusing anyone who stands out even in a simple group of friends. I joined a lot of groups through my husband, and one of them has someone super toxic.
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Yes, with not DV it's obviously something I do a lot, even on Twitter. Sorry my OP was about DV though.
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DV does manifest publicly though... So um not sure the correct dissociation is private vs public.
End of conversation
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Sometimes, that's more than enough.
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