But if the paper is a 50/50 collaboration where one person did the experiments and the other did the theory and both came up with the ideas figuring out who is the "first author" is an ill defined enterprise.
That was a really cute phrase though. I love it. "Scamper away sheepishly". I'm using it. 
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Its all yours. My apology gift for my ignorance
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No apologies needed. The field has a lot of issues to work on. This is one.
End of conversation
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