Once when I was in grad school, a professor at a journal club reception went on and on about the ball pain and swelling he had due to his treatment for testicular cancer. I told him I was happy his wife wasn't having any more of HIS kids.
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Replying to @agent_scruples @o_guest and
LOL I'd have shot back with a detailed story of my 30 hour labor. I can upstage pretty much any testicular cancer story with that one.
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Replying to @agent_scruples @o_guest and
I mean, it's probably TMI to go on about your health problems at a party. On the other hand, I would usually consider it rude for someone to trivialize someone's pain or tell them the world is better off with them sterilized.
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Replying to @agent_scruples @o_guest and
Ah, didn't realize it was about cancer. I wouldn't trivialize that. I thought it was a guy complaining about just a vasectomy.
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Replying to @LoriKFenton @o_guest and
He wasn't complaining about the vasectomy. He volunteered for the vasectomy. He was complaining about pelvic pain. Would you trivialize that? Would the source of the pelvic pain factor into your decision about whether or not to trivialize it?
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Replying to @agent_scruples @LoriKFenton and
"He wasn't complaining about the vasectomy." Correct. "He was complaining about pelvic pain." Perhaps. Alternative possibility: he was a professor advertising to a graduate student in his department that he wouldn't get her pregnant if they had sex. *nudge, wink, etc.*
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Replying to @ren_poole @agent_scruples and
Of course! Or just asserting himself by transgression of norms in prep of further violations. Anything even a little sexual in a professional setting in the overwhelming number of cases is prep for more BS.
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Replying to @o_guest @agent_scruples and
Exactly! It's testing the water to see how much he can get away with without pushback. Which is why pushing back with a joke was exactly the right thing to do.
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Replying to @ren_poole @agent_scruples and
This is literally how abusers operate.
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It's sadly something even I with my experience still have to learn to listen to my gut to more and more. People who obviously push past boundaries tend to do so for a reason. 
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