The same guys who wax lyrical about wanting to be a Dad and even signal that they’d be willing to do a fair share of the labour of childcare, also won’t cut off the guys they know are abusive. By that logic they want to raise their children adjacent to potential violence. Absurd.
-
Show this thread
-
Way I think of this is, if I told someone off for being a racist at the get go, then they would know not to be racist around me. But I really want to get to know this person and for them to be who they are around me, so it means something when I tell them off. Keep enemies close.
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
I disagree: social sanction is a strong check on behaviour. If I let someone know I will not tolerate racist speech or actions around me, I make that person's scope of action smaller, I prompt a tiny bit of shame and self-censorship, and that's a win.
2 replies 1 retweet 3 likes -
Of course! It's an awesome tool. I was thinking more, I came from left university analysis paralysis and moved to working class jobs and signalling early with a social sanction would have meant not uncovering the other shit they though acceptable. Examples: right now...
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
... I am interacting with a guy on a boat I sail on who is pretty overtly sexist who I sense must have a history of domestic violence... but it's a hunch right now, the crew are all in agreement on this guys sexism, and I am not sure if sanction is the way, or confession.
3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes -
So this example is not an abstract one to me: I am a woman, and overt sexism and violence against women has a deep and daily impact on my capacity to act and even exist in the world. I don't think that behaviour needs witnessing; it need stopping. It has to start with men.
2 replies 1 retweet 5 likes -
Of course! I am saying "when to call out and when to keep listening" is a line to walk, I have for instance a history of consistently calling out sexism and racism as I saw it almost instantly. I think doing so in many cases meant they continued, there exists a reaction that ...
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
... handles that already. It's not like racism or sexism is unsophisticated. It can handle being called out on being sexist a lot of the time.
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
BTW somethings are invisible to those with privilege etc., so I'll say it without beating around: right now — literally in this thread — Aimée and I in solidarity with others are doing a very soft version of what we ideally would like you to do to help us.
1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes -
We are basically politely labelling your tactics as coming off as not ideal. Calling your space a spade.
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
We're not trying to befriend you and lull you into feeling safe and telling us more — we're literally saying "no mate this tactic you are using sounds off".
-
-
The tactic is virtue signalling 101.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like - 3 more replies
New conversation -
-
-
For all I know, this tactic might be good (for white men like you?) BTW! You haven't actually explained it in a cohesive and coherent way.
0 replies 0 retweets 1 likeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.