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    The New York Times‏Verified account @nytimes Apr 7

    Modern Love: "I’m not sure it’s possible to justify my liaisons with married men, but what I learned from having them warrants discussion"https://nyti.ms/2EoIb5P 

    6:02 AM - 7 Apr 2018
    • 79 Retweets
    • 242 Likes
    • Awaitey Van HipSickie Mariana Limón Lorna Donald Revolinski Katie Cunningham Muthoni Monica Vallado
    54 replies 79 retweets 242 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Noma Mabandla‏ @Norma_ott Apr 7
        Replying to @nytimes

        interesting most of the wrath in comments is 4 author, who wasn't married and owed nothing to anybody. Yet the married men who had a commitment elsewhere are getting by unscathed. Not surprising at all cause people hold women at a higher standard when it comes to infidelity.

        7 replies 0 retweets 62 likes
      3. Deer Chair‏ @deer_chair Apr 7
        Replying to @Norma_ott @nytimes

        The men aren’t writing this article and she was aware she was dating married men. I don’t see why she shouldn’t be scrutinized

        3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. Noma Mabandla‏ @Norma_ott Apr 7
        Replying to @deer_chair @nytimes

        Not saying she shouldn't be. But it's weird that people are angrier at her than the spouses who are actually cheating. She's not in the clear, but the larger part of the blame should be on the married. They are the ones with obligations to other people

        2 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      5.  🦃Brian 🦂‏ @pdx_mavs Apr 7
        Replying to @Norma_ott @deer_chair @nytimes

        100% of the blame is on them. Single people don’t owe married people jack shit. It’s your job to stay faithful to your partner(s) it’s not anybody else’s responsibility

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      6. Deer Chair‏ @deer_chair Apr 7
        Replying to @pdx_mavs @Norma_ott @nytimes

        Would you sleep with a married woman if you were single? Why or why not?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7.  🦃Brian 🦂‏ @pdx_mavs Apr 7
        Replying to @deer_chair @Norma_ott @nytimes

        No. I didn’t knowingly mess with other people’s partners when I was single. Not for any moral reason though, mainly because it had a high likelihood of including drama that could include me being murdered

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      8. Noma Mabandla‏ @Norma_ott Apr 7
        Replying to @pdx_mavs @deer_chair @nytimes

        Same. The ensuing drama is a bigger deterrent than any moral issue.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. sgoodl‏ @sgoodl Apr 7
        Replying to @nytimes

        It's amusing to me that it doesn't seem to occur to her that these men just may have been lying. The pity play of "my wife doesn't sleep with me" clearly worked like a charm on her....to the point that she takes pride in palying marriage counselor & sexual surrogate

        2 replies 1 retweet 71 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. sgoodl‏ @sgoodl Apr 7
        Replying to @chronic_dad @nytimes

        I never said, or even implied, the men "needed" to lie. Merely observe that it's a convenient (and seemingly effective) way to mitigate a mistress' hesitance / stifle her conscience - and even, as in the case of the writer, create some sense of moral superiority.

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. Bonzalez‏ @ToddDoug Apr 7
        Replying to @sgoodl @chronic_dad @nytimes

        You definitely implied that it was in men's interest to lie in this way to increase their odds of getting laid. You're not wrong, but that doesn't mean these sexless marriages aren't really common.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. sgoodl‏ @sgoodl Apr 7
        Replying to @ToddDoug @chronic_dad @nytimes

        Again, I never said that sexless marriages are uncommon. I do believe that it is also common for people to lie to get what they want. And I believe it's naive of the writer not to consider that possibility.

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      7. Dr. Jaspyn Binkett, MD‏ @chronic_dad Apr 7
        Replying to @sgoodl @ToddDoug @nytimes

        it just seems like you’re assuming that the men must be lying even when it seems much more likely that they’re telling the truth

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      8. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. MDBurgos‏ @MDBurgos1 Apr 7
        Replying to @nytimes

        Talk about passive aggression. Wants no strings after her own break up, but wants to psychoanalyze men about their cheating, and THEN wants to give advice, impart wisdom when she knows nothing about the person’s life or his wife and less about herself.

        4 replies 0 retweets 30 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Sri Muhawara‏ @sri_together Apr 7
        Replying to @nytimes

        Why the focus on sex? Though it can help intimacy, it shouldn't be central to a married relationship. If it is, the marriage will collapse. Marry someone you adore and value intrinsically, because when life inevitably strips everything else away, s/he will be the only one left.

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. DRW‏ @drw1018 Apr 7
        Replying to @sri_together @nytimes

        Sex is incredibly important to some people. The message should be to find a partner who places the same level of importance on physical intimacy as you do.

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. Sri Muhawara‏ @sri_together Apr 7
        Replying to @drw1018 @nytimes

        I dont mean to diminish the importance of sex. It is important, but a marriage should never be built on it. A marriage should be built on the idea of unconditional love of the other, and physical intimacy, whether in the form of sex or what, should grow naturally from that.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Karin Jones‏ @mskarinjones Apr 7
        Replying to @sri_together @drw1018 @nytimes

        I appreciate this exchange. Rather than a hierarchy in the qualities important to a relationship, I think it’s a Venn diagram of essentials, sexual intimacy being one of them. And if sex falls out of the overlap for one, the other will suffer.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Rick or Treat‏ @RikkuCruel69 Apr 7
        Replying to @nytimes

        No you can't justify your behavior. You're a homewrecker and a very evil person. Leave those innocent men alone. You're corrupting them. Jezebel!

        5 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. spydercharlotte‏ @spydercharlotte Apr 7
        Replying to @RikkuCruel69 @nytimes

        She isn’t married the men were. I doubt there was any risk to the marriage it may have helped hold it together.

        2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. That’sWhatSheSaid‏ @CiteeMouse Apr 7
        Replying to @spydercharlotte @RikkuCruel69 @nytimes

        She may not be, “cheating,” but she’s not innocent. She stated that her choices were selfish. Everyone that wallows with pigs, gets dirty. Who owns the pig, is immaterial.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. strangesparrow‏ @strangesparrow Apr 7
        Replying to @CiteeMouse @spydercharlotte and

        Wouldn't the spouse also be wallowing with the "pig?" So how does that argument hold up?pic.twitter.com/AQsIcXFODj

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      6. That’sWhatSheSaid‏ @CiteeMouse Apr 7
        Replying to @strangesparrow @spydercharlotte and

        The cheating spouse, regardless of gender, IS the pig - assuming they don’t have an understanding with their partner. Perhaps it wasn’t clear, she’s not innocent. She may not be a cheater but, she’s dirty. That is all. ✌️

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. strangesparrow‏ @strangesparrow Apr 7
        Replying to @CiteeMouse @spydercharlotte and

        Perpetuating the culture of possessiveness, competition and jealousy is also dirty, imo. When you try to pit women against each other for male attention, actually no one wins✌

        3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. That’sWhatSheSaid‏ @CiteeMouse Apr 7
        Replying to @strangesparrow @spydercharlotte and

        The article was about a woman. However, same regardless of gender or orientation. And, women that hurt other women are the WORST.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. strangesparrow‏ @strangesparrow Apr 7
        Replying to @CiteeMouse @spydercharlotte and

        It's much healthier to realize that you can't control your partner's behavior. Their choices are theirs alone.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      10. 1 more reply

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