Who among us hasn't lost a friend or loved one in an tragic dining room set accident?
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one of my dear friends was killed by a cheap salad fork. I tried to stop him but my bone spurs held me back!
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Life is full of sadness.
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I bought a used dining table for $300. Guess I’m living on borrowed time.
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Best laugh I had today

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#bencarson how much for this amount of safety sir?
pic.twitter.com/OxqLn8xQge
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He needs to be tested for drugs
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And my new Saint Laurent jacket is about homeland security
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And buying a Ferrari is about efficiency.
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The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a $31,000 dining room set is a good guy with a $31,000 dining room set
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Was
@SecretaryCarson afraid that he would hit his head on the table? It wouldn't have affected him anyway as he lost his mind long back.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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The worst part is that the dining room set was hideous.
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I really want a picture of this dining set and Zinke's new doors
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There is no way
@SecretaryCarson was a brain surgeon. He doesn’t seem smart enough to cut my grass (safely).Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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