It is interesting how the article mentions estrangement w/o family karma, because in time family karma that might forces one to confront any misunderstanding. Distancing is just an avoidance to an unresolved issue.
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Some times people distance themselves because there's no way to resolve the issue. The only thing to do is to walk away forever. Never take a phone call. Never answer an email. Just no contact period.
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I am not sure how long one can do that before something would forces one to confront it. I think there are two options one is to past on to the next generation to which issues will resurface or having one to confront it and understand it. It is hard to explain time will tell.
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You can understand without confronting those who did it. And for some the relationship is long gone before they ever break all contact.
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Everyone's experience is different, no one can say how or what each and everyone should do, but in terms of empathy and forgiving go both ways or simply just differences. Sometimes the difference is simply not seeing the other sides.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjeYkrSVe8E&index=1&list=RDZjeYkrSVe8E …
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And sometimes the other side is the side that sees you as a non-person not worth the effort of not abusing.
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I know, "no one can change how people think, unless they want to change themselves". All it matters is that the misunderstanding is not coming from you. And you do need to love & care for yourself too.
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I prefer to see this as debunking some of the myths about family. There are a whole lot of unreal expectations & myths about families particularly in the case of parents.
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There us absolutely no point in maintaining relationships with people you don't like or with whom you share no values. Relatives or not, wasting your life persisting with low value relationships, or even toxic ones, is just stupid. Better to let go.
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I get it, it happens and not all families stick together. And yes, we need research into it and generally doing research is good. It doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make it work with our own families instead of just throwing up our hands and saying statistics say x, so lets do x
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I've never seen my mother. Allowed her boyfriend to break both arms and a leg twice when I was an infant - while I was willing to forgive, given that she was 14 when pregnant with me, it was clear we weren't compatible. I don't hate her; just a non-entity.
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Just keep picking at traditional family and familial relationships.
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At some point, it is ok to acknowledge that family members are toxic and not adding value to your life. The Times story scratches the surface on the reasons why, but unless you are in it, there is no way to understand how difficult it can be.
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So pointing out some parents aren't worth having relationships with is attacking families?
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Sometimes it’s just about one bully in the family that the others won’t help with. When you’re not the one being bullied it’s easy to ignore the problem.
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